I just spent the holidays in Chicago with my son and grandson, while my daughter was basking in the Florida sunshine. That sounds as if I took the road less traveled, and truth be told, I did. Amtrak was fairly empty as I headed north on Christmas Eve.
This was my first train ride since I was six years old, so many years ago I can't even remember. I do however remember being sooty at the end of that ride from the mountains of southeast Kentucky to Lexington. This ride wasn't sooty, it was an adventure. Trains have changed.
The northward trek provided entertainment by way of my across the aisle neighbor who spent much of his 5 Amtrak hours on a cell phone. It seems the one who had promised to feed his dog, Phoebe, while he was away, changed her mind, so Phoebe was going to spend Christmas week unfed. My neighbor was filled with panic, and no doubt a bit of anger, as some of his words indicated. It took many miles before a replacement sitter was found for Phoebe, and I thought for a while the train might simply turn around and go back to pick her up, then I realized trains don't usually turn around, not even for a dog named Phoebe.
My days with my boys were wonderful, filled with snow and temps that hovered around nothing. I spent a lot of time in front of the fireplace beside the Christmas tree, being Princess Leia with my grandson, who was Luke Skywalker and Hans Solo alternately, and then I turned right back around and headed southward and home when the holidays were over.
I should have known when I saw her singing an Elvis song and swaying to her own drummer in the waiting room of our boarding gate. She was rather large and dressed in a floor length white leather coat with a billion rhinestones sprinkled across her shoulders. Her long black hair was in dreadlocks on one side, but curled loosely on the other. I should have known, but I didn't.
The singing continued, as did the swaying, as she boarded ahead of me and bounced to the front of my train car. I stayed in the back seat where I felt more comfortable close to my luggage. Sometime along the way I was aware of her pacing the aisle, past my seat and on to the next car, then back again, singing more Elvis as she paced to the sway of the train. Elephant pacing, I thought, since she swayed from side to side and bounced off the backs of every seat. Her feet remained firmly planted on the floor, but the rest of her swung happily from side to side. This pacing continued for the better part of half the southward trek, when finally she took a seat way up in front of me. Suddenly there was a commotion up front, and I heard the crying of a child. I am too short to see much of anything, but I could hear pretty well, and the child was wailing. Then just as suddenly, all was quiet, except for the clackety clack and the whooooo woooooo of the train.
After a few minutes of audible silence, the conductor said: "Ladeez and gentlemen, we will be making a fast stop and then resume as quickly as possible." We did, and suddenly I saw Ms. Elvis being escorted off the train. After the clackety clack resumed, I decided I needed coffee, and two cars ahead of me was the dining car.
The young dining attendant handed me the coffee and said, "That'll be two hundred fifty cents, please."
I looked him in the eye and asked: "Would you like that all in pennies."
We became fast friends when I told him I liked his style. He told me he liked mine too, and since I am old enough to be his grandmother, we both laughed. I asked him why we had made an unscheduled stop just a few minutes earlier. This is what he said:
"Did you see the lady in the sparkling white coat? Well, we made arrangements for her to be picked up and we gave her free room and board for the night in the closest town."
I said: "Oh? Do you think she was sick?"
"You might call it that," he said, "she left me with $42 in worthless cents, and she solicited business with a gentleman who was traveling with his wife and two young children. She did not need to be on this train, so we found other accommodations for her."
"In the middle of a deserted cow pasture?" I asked, since I had seen no lights or even any life form when we stopped.
"Oh no," he said. "She's been here before and will wake up in familiar surroundings in the morning. We made sure she had appropriate transportation."
That was in the middle of Illinois, and I might be from Kentucky, but I caught his drift, thanked him, and took my coffee with me back to my seat.
I said a little prayer for Phoebe and Ms. Elvis when I got home. I think they needed it.
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